Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
