You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize