I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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