Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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