last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And then my night got REAL pukey
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
