No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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