are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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