I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
