she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize