There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
