Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
