dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
