well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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