did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
