Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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