Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
