What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
