whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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