and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
