She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
