Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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