I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
