So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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