i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
