She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You're like the curious george of whores
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize