i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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