you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
