I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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