Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
