i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize