I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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