Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize