Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize