exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
