In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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