why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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