; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
