I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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