drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
