my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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