If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
