my mouth tastes like poor choices
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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