apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Buhtt sex?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
