Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dick very happy bro
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
