Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
