The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
