Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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