i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
