this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
