Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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