im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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