It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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