Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
