got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
