I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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