It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
