Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
