i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
