Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
