fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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