I'm gonna have a badass scar
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
