Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
