I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
