New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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